Why, hello there again! Welcome to another post by yours truly.
This post is going to be about what went down that sixth fateful wednesday in Virginia Beach.
This post is going to be a little different, because this week was very much different from the rest of the weeks that we have had. This time the project day was split between men and women, and we separated for an entire day to spend some time getting more intimate with the same sex for a time, without distraction from the other. This week was simply a time to be able to go a little deeper into discussion about things that really tend to hit guys pretty hard, and do that in a smaller context with a smaller group. So, because these things are a bit harder to talk about in such an open context, some things will be a little less advertised than others, and this post will probably be a little shorter than some of the other project days.
The day started us off without a time specification. All we were told going into this project day was that we needed to be ready to go in the morning, having eaten a decent breakfast, and to wear something comfortable. I know, that's a lot to go off of.
Well, we soon found out what that all meant. The morning began around 9:30, and we met up as a group of guys outside the front of the condo complex that we live at here. From there, we walked 8 blocks to the local state park, First Landing.
Upon arriving there, we traversed through the woods and met up at a spot a little farther in. There we took some time to answer some questions about life. Questions were yes or no and ranged anywhere from "I struggle in confronting conflict." to "I flex in the mirror often." You do the math.
After filling out this survey, we were asked to share the results with the rest of the group about where we stood on the spectrum of the various categories. We had three categories or traits of people: passive, lazy, and arrogant. Upon filling out the survey we went back and saw just how much we really fell into these categories. It was the first opportunity to have the ice broken with some vulnerability with each other. For obvious reasons, I will not share what people said, even myself, but the point of the matter was that we were going to be diving further into our relationship with not only each other, but also how these different aspects of our lives affect the relationship that we have with the Lord.
After embarking on an adventure to the woods, we returned to the condos and prepped for a lunch with the guys. We grilled out, grilled in, and shared some awesome meat-filled experiences. We had the essentials: steaks, hot dogs, burgers, and even some fish (for those who wanted to class it up). We nommed till we couldn't nom anymore. Oh yeah, and we splurged with grape and strawberry drank (aka Crush).
After eating and having a little time to digest with some games outside, we got back into the swing of serious talk. During the afternoon we had a series of talks about some important things that every Godly guy should know about. There were four discussions total.
The first was about girls. Shocking. Well...it was about how to deal with girls in a Godly way.
Essentially, it was all of the same things that most have probably heard. One of the staff member's wives, Eva, spoke on a few tips that guys should have. First, she mentioned that it is important to not tell a girl you like them unless you are EXTREMELY sure that you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with them. This is essentially trying not to lead them on. It is possible to be present in their lives and spend time with them without stringing them along. Be delicate with the ladies' hearts and how they are treated.
The second seminar was led by Ryan Hartsook and talked about what it takes to be a man. Of course, this entire day is not a fool proof plan and list of things that a person needs to have to be a man, but it is definitely very helpful and encouraging things to talk about.
Masculinity is a sacred thing. God was very intentional when he created man and woman. They were both created with very specific purpose. However, masculinity is something that is bestowed upon us from generation to generation. If we don't receive it, then things are going to get harder from the get go. Men were created with wild hearts. God's heart is reflected in us, and God was by no means a tame beast. He is fierce, and he is ready to take on the challenge.
Yet culture is defining us more and more, and our gender roles are starting to be skewed. So how are we supposed to nurture these wild hearts?
1) We shouldn't fall to passivity like Adam did in the garden.
2) Take initiative with the responsibilities we have.
3) Be uncompromising as spiritual leaders. Follow the Lord and His word.
We want all of the glory but none of the sacrifice. God is calling us to live more sacrificially for those that we love. We are not meant to be the knight in shining armor, because it is something that we cannot attain. The only knight in shining armor is Jesus. We are merely the squires that are called to serve and glorify Him in any way possible.
Ultimately, we have to be humble and take humbleness seriously. By being humble, we are showing true submission to God and his plan for our lives. Pride doesn't allow submissiveness. God is only able to take us as far as we are willing to submit to someone wiser, including Himself.
Seminar number three was about the um...hard part. It was about sexual sin.
Essentially, it's hard to deal with. It can dominate our lives if we let it, it's poisonous to the rest of our life and the ones we care for, and it's hard to avoid in this day and age. What also tends to be the norm for men is that it's hard to avoid it alone.
The last conversation was about conflict.
Conflict is actually a healthy thing in life. It's unavoidable, seeing as we are not perfect, but it's not a bad thing to have, because it helps us learn more about where people are coming from and also how to handle those high intensity situations. Unresolved conflict is not healthy, because it ruins our unity that we should have as a church.
We have to be willing to deal with conflict.
"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift." -Matthew 5:23-24
This is quite straightforward. We need to reconcile with others before we can be reconciled with God. And even if it takes a lot to reconcile with them, we have to go that extra mile to do it.
Here's another verse: "If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over." -Matthew 18:15
While we are dealing with the conflict at hand, make sure it's done privately. Conflict between two people does not deserve public attention. We have to deal with conflict before it gets swept under the rug and buried.
To end the night, we had some dinner as a condo and then made our way down to the beach for one last hurrah as a group of men. After we got there, we learned that we were going to get a little more "involved" by going to the opposite side of the different categories we had mentioned earlier.
Here's the opposites:
1) The opposite of a passive person is a fighter.
2) The opposite of a lazy person is a hard worker.
3) The opposite of an arrogant person is a lover.
Alright, so what about these? Well, we did some activities to represent this change. So as fighters, we wrestled.
As hard workers, we pumped iron with our life groups.
And as lovers, we encouraged each other with words of affirmation towards those who really just needed it.
To end the night, we all collected at the shore. As a group, Carl shared about just the importance of having times like this, because if we don't ever really talk about things like this, people can just have some very unnecessary struggles in life. To finish, we all made a vow. It went like this:
"God, I am not a wimp. I want to become the Godly man that you have called me to be."
So, each of us did this very thing. We stood alone, on the edge of the water, with the group behind us, and spoke with boldness the desire that every guy there had, to become a stronger man of God by completely following him in every facet of our lives with every part of our being.
Ok, so this post might not have been shorter than the rest, but I still thoroughly enjoyed everything that was done. It's days like this that remind us of just how much community is a treasure in our walks with God. What makes it even greater is when you have a strong group of Godly men to share it with, and let me just say this, because it needs to be said: every single man in this above photo is strong. They are bold. And they are walking with the Lord with conviction.
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